living with canine addison's disease: kermit's story, part two (our lives before the disease)

Kermit was an oddball, and, even now, we sit around the campfire with friends, reflecting on his antics. (WARNING: due to the graphic nature of these stories, they may not be suitable for all audiences.)

with us one week

It was the first Saturday night after we adopted Kermit. B had gone to bed, and Brennen was at work late. I was sleeping. A strange noise woke me, and I felt something on my back. It was too late when I realized what was happening. The sound was that of Kermit hacking, standing on my back. On a positive note, he felt bonded to me already. Unfortunately, he vomited all over my back and hair. Totally nasty, right? Now imagine trying to get out of bed, into the bathroom, out of clothes, and into the shower without dripping dog vomit all over the house. Impossible? Why, yes, yes it is. 

meeting the in-laws

Kermit didn't make the best impression on my husband's parents. They are more the "traditional" dog types, and Kermit was as odd in personality as he was in looks. Sweet and sour, basically. We'd planned a nice baby back rib dinner for them the night they arrived from the airport, and, somehow (actual how is a blur), he got a hold of a small bone. 

Kermit tolerating N.A.S.H.A. as a puppy.

Kermit tolerating N.A.S.H.A. as a puppy.

We were initially concerned that he would choke as he made splinters of it, so Brennen tried to take it. Kermit went tasmanian devil on him and tried to make mincemeat of his hand, then ran off under, then behind, the couch. "Like hell!" Shouted my darling, practically turning the table over as he bounded after Kermit. In one motion, he pulled the couch from the wall and grabbed Kermit by the scruff of the neck, yanking him skyward. As he did, a fountain of urine streaked up and across the wall and all the way to the patio door. Kermit got his bone, but stayed outside for quite some time. We finished dinner before scrubbing the wall and putting the house back together. My father-in-law, who is not fond of "situations"–especially during dinner–commented when his son returned to the table "I wouldn't tolerate that during dinner." I just about spit my wine out laughing. I may have been the only one.

cheating on Lizzie

If you read part one, you know that Lizzie was a big black sweet-as-can-be pit bull, and Kermit's first "love." His next steady girlfriend was a big yellow stuffed duck given to my step son, who was five at the time. Thankfully B was never very fond of stuffed animals, and after laughing at Kermit's frequent courting rituals toward the thing, generously said "Kermit, you can just have it." That was best.

learning to use the remote

Brennen and I were chatting in the kitchen over a glass of wine, making dinner together, while B and Kermit sat on the couch watching a show. They were peaceful, and so were we. Until we heard a snarling tizzy, then crying. We ran out to the living room and asked what happened. It took B (unhurt, but shaken) a few minutes to calm down enough to be understood. Through the sniffles, he finally choked out "I...was...just...trying...to teach...him how...to use...the remote! Waaaaaaaahhhhh!" We didn't see it either, but I think we all know what happened.

i can't see out the window

Kermit absolutely loved to ride in the car. During most of his life, I drove a Jeep Wrangler. He would basically surf on the center console, panting the whole time, giving me an occasional kiss on the cheek. When he got tired, he'd wander the car. He could even stand on the passenger seat and put his front paws on the giant grab handle above the glove compartment. He'd ride along like that forever and deposit about a million nose smudges on the vertical windshield of the Jeep. Any time I took an actual human passenger, they'd ask "What is all over your windshield? I can't even see out of it!" Thanks, Kerm.

the office dog flop

When we adopted Kermit, I worked at a graphic design firm. It was a family-like environment, and the ultra-cool owners were a dog-loving couple who were happy to allow me to bring Kermit to the office. He would mostly sleep under my desk, but whenever a coworker would open the office door, he would trot over and flop down in front of them, then roll over on his back requesting a belly rub. We coined it "doing the Kermie flop."

um...what the fu¢& is your dog doing? 

My brother-in-law, Greg, was visiting. We'd left Kermit to socialize with him in the living room while we prepared dinner. Greg said "Dude, get in here! What the fu¢& is your dog doing?"

There's Kermit in our papasan chair, leaning back in a semi-standing position, reaching down with his two front paws to his nether-region, pleasuring himself. Only that dog. I swear. We just shook our heads. Greg said "Good for you, Kermit."   

If any of you who knew Kermit have a story to add, feel free to chime in!

Further reading:

living with canine addison's disease: kermit's story, part one (the adoption)

living with canine addison's disease: kermit's story, part three (the diagnosis)

living with canine addison's disease: kermit's story, part four (the disease and the end)

 

the bachelor finally gets a dog

I must admit, I've been a fan of The Bachelor since it first aired back in...er...probably before some of you were born or something like that. I actually went to a taping once. Yeah, freakish, huh?

What I've never been a fan of are the weirdo things the hopefuls do to make a great first impression. If you've even seen a season premiere, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Cringe. I hide my eyes. I wasn't sure whether to shudder or cheer during last week's season premiere when Kelly, "dog lover" by profession, brought along her chaperone, Molly the dog, to meet Juan Pablo.

photo source: dlisted.com

photo source: dlisted.com

Even with Kelly's judgement in question, I was thrilled to see Molly, and I can't wait to find out how this all plays out, because Molly and her person received a rose and will be appearing on tonight's episode. I have questions about what is involved in Kelly's occupation as a "dog lover," but I have more questions about how the dating scene will go for Molly:

• Will Molly be willing to "trust" her relationship with Juan Pablo as they scale down the side of an office building on their first date.

• How will Kelly handle a 2-on-1 with Molly as competition?

• When Juan Pablo goes in for that first kiss, will Molly's tongue get in the way?

• Does Molly have the table manners required for a fancy, romantic dining experience, or will she wolf down her food while Kelly and Juan Pablo's plates go untouched?

• Can Molly hold her champagne, or will she get tipsy and scare Juan Pablo off with talk of puppies? 

• Does Molly have the bikini bod required for a steamy hot tub scene?

• If rejected, will Molly go all wild wolf on all the girls, or will she keep her composure?

* How will dropping a load during a romantic stroll on the beach affect her chances?

And, finally...

• Is this dog capable of the cattiness required to appear on the show? 

Check.

Good luck, Molly! I'm rooting for you.

"dog-ma: the zen of slobber" should be your next read

When the weather turns cold, there is nothing more pleasurable than curling up by the fire with a good book. Make it a book about dogs, and I'm in heaven. Barbara Brunner's "Dog-ma: The Zen of Slobber" was my latest read, and it did not disappoint.

Brunner lets us know her dogs in true Larry McMurtry fashion, allowing her readers to know them and love them, no matter their antics, then making us feel her heart-wrenching pain as they inevitably leave her side. She paints an equally vivid picture of the settings in which her family has their adventures as she and her husband, Ray, move their pack from place to place. 

If you're a dog lover, you won't be able to put this one down. Be prepared to laugh and love with Brunner and her revolving door of canine family members. 

 


Barbara's vivid and dramatic stories, told with a wicked sense of humor, will make you laugh out loud. She definitely gets what living with rescued dogs (nine of them!) is all about. 

When Barbara meets her future husband, Ray, it is love-and dog-at first sight. Over the course of thirty-two years, seventeen relocations and nine dogs, their mutual love of dogs guides them on their unconventional path. The love that Barbara and Ray get in return is literally lifesaving, with one dog attacking a lethal intruder and another discovering Barbara’s cancer. Her own survival story underscores the story of how her dogs become survivors themselves. 

Each new dog adds its own dynamic to the family, sometimes upending it. From Turbo (whose Spock-like ears may have provided super powers), Barbara learns about the will to live; Lexington demonstrates incredible patience and an inexplicable love of golf; Madison teaches that laughter is truly the best medicine and that the whole “nine lives thing” is not reserved just for cats; Morgan should be sainted for tolerating Izzy, who is as cute as she is bad. Barbara is certain that somewhere in doggie heaven there is a poster that says “If you are sick, injured or in need of really expensive medical care, FIND THESE HUMANS!”

Throughout 2012 and 2013, Dog-Ma has been on the Bestseller lists of Kindle, Amazon and Goodreads as well as being named as a finalist in the 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the animal/pet category and presented with a medal at the Harvard Club in New York City - May 2013.
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About the Author
Award Winning Author, Barbara Brunner grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania with her parents, sister and always a dog, or two or three. She graduated Summa Cum Laude from a small women's college in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. Meeting her husband in Washington, DC, they continued together on a journey as self-proclaimed dog addicts. In the ensuing years, she founded three successful businesses in the Pacific Northwest and is a prolific fundraiser for breast cancer research. She and her husband are retired and now reside in Southwest Florida with two dogs and copious amounts of dog fur. She is currently working on indulging her well known flip flop addiction.

Barbara is available for book readings, autographing and speaking engagements and may be scheduled for your book or dog event. 
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"My inspiration for writing this book was driven by pure emotion and my desire to invite the reader to step into the journey of my utterly insane true-life stories."
– Barbara Boswell Brunner, Author, dog-ma



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I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.


free entertainment for you and your pet

photo source: animaldiscovery.com When I was growing up, our little dog, Chipper, loved lights and reflections. I don't even think the pet laser pointer for pets had been thought up, yet. Instead, he had a collection of flashlights in a designated drawer, and he was so obsessed, he would bark in anticipation if we even approached the drawer. Eating dinner was an issue because we had track lighting that bounced light off the silverware. We'd have to take a bite and then quickly bury the silverware under the plate or napkin or food. Nevermind the large serving utensils. Pizza night, with that spatula, was an event.

I still haven't figured out why some animals "see the light" and some don't. Or maybe they do and don't care.

I've always been entertained by animals who do border on obsession with this entity that can't be caught, and this week, I accidentally found one in a client. We were enjoying the cooling weather outside, and my watch shot a beam of light into the grass. Piper pounced. The game was on. Her big sister, Ava, couldn't be bothered. What a great form of exercise for this pup! And what a great way for a little sister to pester her big sis–just part of the job.

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So grab that flashlight you have lying around, or just use the sun and something reflective. Free entertainment for the whole family!

cat bearding...making me crack up, and you have to enter this contest!

I honestly only heard of cat bearding recently, and I guess that goes to show how uncool I am, because it's apparently all the rage. I've been missing out. Never mind the fact that I don't have a cat. I need to get in on the act. Image

These crazy cat people seem to be calling it "that thing where your cat is also your beard." Hilarious. I love it. I don't know how, exactly, they get their cats to pose like this. So great! I see a few dogs in the mix, too, so maybe there is hope for me to have my very own genuine bearding photo.

My good friend, Heather, of Brie Brie Blooms is working with Fresh Step on a Cat Bearding Photo Contest. I can't even believe how great the contest is. You totally have to enter. Yes, you. Aside from all the fun and gorgeous scratched-up face you'll have, the winner receives a professional photo shoot with their cat (this is where me having an actual cat of my own would be handy) and a year's supply of Fresh Step Litter, which is redeemable in the form of a $700 Sam's Club gift card (okay...I'm running out do adopt a cat, now).

So have you been cat bearding? If not, can you whip out a prize-winning photo real quick (hurry up...contest ends on September 30th)? Meow. Come back and tell me how it goes...I can't wait to see those photos.