silly state law saturday: south carolina

Welcome to lovely South Carolina where the tea is sweet and the dogs are barkin'. Let's take a look at some of their ridiculous animal laws. 

• In Hilton Head, it is illegal to shine a flashlight on a sea turtle. If you can find a sea turtle at night, more power to you.

• In Myrtle Beach, dogs may not be on the beach during the summer months during the daytime or the owner may be arrested. Oh, the dog days of summer!

• In Fountain Inn, horses are to wear pants at all times. Um. Okay. Who makes horse pants? And how the hell do you get them on the horse?

• In Clemson, bitches in heat shall be confined. It's always the woman's fault, isn't it? 

• When approaching a four-way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle, you must stop 100 feet from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic. Because a gunshot is much less startling than a car engine.

• Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses. Perhaps they should try the gunshot technique.

• Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. What is it with keeping animals in bath tubs?

• One needs a permit to paint or sculpt with turkey feathers. But eating the turkey is a-okay...no questions asked.

• It is unlawful to buy or sell an electric eel. Oh, zap!

• Fishing with dynamite is a crime. So is fishing with a yo-yo. There's this cool thing called a fishing pole. Check it out.

• It is a crime to possess a walking catfish. I didn't know such an animal existed! Check it out:

Tune in next week when we check out South Dakota.

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.

silly state law saturday: rhode island

Rhode island is the smallest state in the U.S., and its ridiculous animal laws reflect that. The bad news? We don't have much to poke fun at this week. The good news? We have a whole list of other states you can peruse over your morning coffee if this isn't enough for you.

• In Scituate, it is illegal to keep a flock of chickens in your motorhome if you live in a trailer park. A flock of pigeons is preferable. Or if you must keep chickens, throw them in your neighbor's motorhome. That also provides entertainment for the whole park, so it's a win-win.

• Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. A real-life game of Frogger. Fantastic.

We'll look forward to seeing you again next week when we look at South Carolina! 

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.

silly state law saturday: pennsylvania

Pennsylvania, if I didn't know you before, I feel I know you so much better, now. Even after I-don't-know-how-many weeks of looking at ridiculous animal laws, you still surprised me with your creativity. Let's get to it:

• In Tarentum, horses are not to be tied to parking meters. Even if I put money in the meter?

• In Pittsburg, it is illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car. But what if the donkey or mule is a service animal. There must be exceptions, right?

• In Millville, one may not shoot any dog that is found wandering the streets. Well, that's a relief. Sheesh.

• Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass.  This seems totally reasonable, right? I wonder if long haul truck drivers get extra pay for this. It would be tough to cover one of those mammoth vehicles. 

• Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait ten minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. So now my trunk has to hold a cammo blanket in every possible shade plus a whole mess of rocket signals? Where will I put my groceries?

• Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land. But what if I plan to shoot the fish?

• Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. Another brilliant idea, shot down by a ridiculous law (no pun intended).

• You may not catch a fish with your hands or any body part except the mouth. And if you cheat, we'll tie your hands behind your back.

• It is illegal to taunt a police dog. Duh. 

• It is unlawful to shoot a reptile. What did he ever do to you?

• In Harrisburg, it's illegal to keep a poisonous creature. By all means, set them free so the masses can enjoy them, too.

• It's illegal to assault honey bees with a dangerous biological agent. Does this mean it's okay to assault humans and other creatures with a dangerous biological agent? Save the bees!

• It is illegal to slaughter a cow with a hammer. As it should be. Seriously? Do we have to spell out every gruesome form of animal cruelty imaginable, or can we just treat animals with kindness?

• In Shippensburg, it's a crime to feed the ducks. Another childhood pastime ripped out of our grasp.

• It is a crime to shoot a big game animal while it is swimming. Wait until it comes up for air. It's an easier shot.

• It is illegal to hunt in a cemetery. It is, after all, a place for quiet reflection. Do we really need to spell this out?

• Dogs can't be used to hunt game, except for turkeys. Because we wouldn't want to wreck Thanksgiving over a silly hunting law.

• It's illegal to use goldfish as bait. They are way too cute!

• It's illegal to keep pigeons. Especially poisonous ones.

• It's illegal to give away animals as a prize. But what better way to get rid of the poisonous creatures we can't keep? Pennsylvanians need to think this through.

Join us next week when we take a look at Rhode Island.

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.

silly state law saturday: oregon

I always think of Oregon as a free-spirited granola-lovin' kind of place. Some of their laws make me think there's a slight chance they might be smoking something. Just sayin'. You be the judge. 

• In Stanfield, it is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits. Does this include the city zoo breeding program? 

• In Springfield, it is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet. Are we talking gekos or crocodiles? There's a difference.

• In Myrtle Creek, one may not box with a kangaroo. Natural consequences, people. Natural consequences will take care of this problem. 

• In Klamath River, it is illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snake's head off with your cane. You must be skipping and wielding a hoe.

• In Multnomah County, it's a crime for animals to bark or be annoying for more than ten minutes at a time. This basically eliminates every single animal I've ever met. But, then, I'm pretty sure I've been annoying for more than ten minutes at time, too. Once or twice.

• Frightening food fish with electricity is a crime. I'm pretty sure I don't even want to understand what this is about.

• It is illegal for a resident to have a rooster of his own. Just borrow your neighbor's. He can borrow yours. Problem solved.

• It is illegal to tightly confine a pregnant pig. It should be illegal to tightly confine any pig, but at least those crazy preggo hormones are working for someone.

• In Portland, it is a crime to keep swine within city limits for more than three days unless they're miniature pot-bellied pigs. So it seems visiting swine are okay, but only for the weekend. No extended stays. Oink.

• In Portland, if one wishes to keep homing pigeons, he must first get permission from the neighbors. "Excuse me, Mr. Smith. Can I tell you about the positives of having bird crap all over your house, car, and head?...No? Mr. Smith?"

• In Multnomah County, citizens are banned from owning non-human primates and pythons longer than eight feet. No biggie. Elephants, giraffes, and whales are still options. 

• In Portland, it is a crime to dye or color baby chicks or rabbits. We've seen this in several states. People have way too much time on their hands. Just go dye the eggs like everyone else, okay?

• In Portland, carriage horses are given the day off when the temperature hits 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Good call. 

• In Portland, it's a crime to bury a large animal within the city limits, and a perpetrator must dig up the carcass at his own expense. Not at the taxpayers' expense? Sillier things have been funded that way.

Come back next week when we check out Pennsylvania! 

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.

silly state law saturday: oklahoma

• In Broken Arrow, pigs less than 32 inches in length may be kept as pets provided there are no more than two in a house. Won't the outside pigs be jealous?

• You need a permit to feed swine. So it's no problem to have them as pets, but we have to have a permit in order to sustain them.

• In Clinton, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property. In order to determine they need a permit to congregate, haven't the dogs congregated already? Oh–wait–they probably did a group text or something. 

• In Yukon, it is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall. There are hitches on the side, I presume. 

• In Wynona, clothes may not be washed in bird baths. Um. Ewww.

• In Wynona, mules may not drink out of bird baths. But we don't want to contaminate it with soap for all of the non-mule drinkers.

• In Wynona, one's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended. Should I tie the rope to my bumper or run it through the steering wheel. 

• In Tulsa, Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area. It's already crowded enough.

• Wrestling a bear is illegal. I don't understand why we can't just let natural consequences work their magic sometimes. Survival of the fittest. 

• It is illegal to disturb a salamander in a cave. You got to wait for those suckers to come out to make it a fair fight, ya hear?

• In Bartlesville, no person may own more than two adult cats and two adult dogs. Plus the pigs, of course.

• If one's dog is run over by a car, the owner must pay for the dog's disposal. That's just sad. But I suppose only the owner would plan a funeral to do the dog justice.

• It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. I'm assuming they mean the mechanical bull, so there's a loophole for ya.

• One may not trip a horse. Especially in front of city hall. 

• Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. I'm making an ugly face at my dog right now and you can't see me...na na na na NA na...

• Whaling is illegal. Uh-huh.

• Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. So they have to ride it out in your palm?

• No person shall take more than 15 bullfrogs in one day. Back away from the bullfrogs, people. Come back tomorrow.

• It is illegal to use a yo-yo to fish. But, officer, I was just dangling' my yo-yo in the water to see if it would make a splash. I swear I wasn't fishin'.

• It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. This really says it all about you Oklahomans. Everyone knows that it's funnier when you put their front legs in the boots.

Join us next week when we take a look at the ridiculous animal laws in Oregon!

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.